NEWS I Am Love
Here's a little love story for you today. It's a true story. It's also a mystery. It's a story that not many people have heard because I haven't shared it with many people. I share it with you today with the hope that you find it encouraging.
On December 7, 2002 at 3:45 a.m, on a cold and crisp early winter morning in Fairfield, Connecticut, I was awoken by a strange force. Not really knowing what was going on, I got out of bed and walked downstairs. As I sat quietly on the couch wiping the sleep from my eyes, I felt a glow. Heat wrapped around me. It was a strange sensation - something I had never felt before.
Sitting on the couch, I began looking at some pages I had printed out from the Internet the evening before. Interestingly, the papers I had printed contained Scripture from the Bible. Before I went to bed, I had done a Google search on the word "Love" and 1 Corinthians 13 came up. I didn't own a Bible at the time so I printed out the Scripture.
My lifelong dream was to find true love. My quest to find true love intensified after my 69 year old dad - one of the most loving people I knew - passed away on June 30, 2001 from a three month battle with cancer. In what seemed like a blink of any eye, he was gone. A whole serious of incredibly painful and devastating events unfolded after his death. Light turned to darkness. Despite my best attempts, I couldn't escape the darkness. It was everywhere. I was drowning in the darkness. In desperation, I began crying out for true love.
In the months following my dad's funeral, I would sit quietly on the train, in my office, alone at home, crying out for love. I sent out emails to friends with hidden messages: "Can you please tell me what true love is?" I was indiscriminately crying out for love. I sat in my office and watched the September 11 terrorist attacks. Watching those huge twin towers crumble like sand castles on the beach was surreal. The darker my life got, the more intensely I pursued my dream. Little did I know on the morning of December 7, 2002 that my quest to find true love was about to end.
Sitting pensively in the early morning winter light with this strange, luminous glow surrounding me, I began reading 1 Corinthians 13. I read each line slowly. 'Love is patient. Love is kind...' As I continued reading, tears began to trickle down my cheeks. The more I kept reading, the heavier the tears flowed. After a few minutes, I was sobbing like a baby. I couldn't control my tears. I tried to stop crying. For a moment, I caught my breath and I heard a gentle voice say:
"I Am Love"
Who was that? What was that? Who is love? I was dazed. Somebody was speaking to me in a voice I had never heard before. It was so gentle.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13:13)
I read it again.
But the greatest of these is love.
I was stunned. In an instant, I understood a profound truth. I was in pursuit of God and I didn't even realize it. God was speaking directly to my battered and broken heart.
Now the mystery of my story is that I wasn't searching for God. I wasn't "on a mission for God." I didn't have a religious bone in my body (still don't!). I didn't ask to receive the Holy Spirit. I wasn't searching for Jesus Christ. I didn't request a private meeting with God at 3:45 a.m.
The truth is the only thing I asked for was for somebody - anybody! - to reveal true love to me. My desperation was the result of being beaten up and battered over a series of events related to my dad's death. My heart had been completely crushed. The people I had trusted with my heart put a dagger in it and threw it away in a trash can. I was broken - completely broken.
He came to me. He revealed Himself to me. After months searching desperately for true love, the Lord spoke to me through 1 Corinthians 13 in the early morning hours and said:
I Am Love.
My search for true love was over. I had found true love. God is love. God spoke directly to my heart.
Lest you think I have completely lost my mind and made this story up, I have proof of my encounter with the Holy Spirit. What's the proof, you ask? The proof is a song He gave me - an incredibly beautiful song. Christine and I recorded the song He gave me on the first Sweetbird record, Free Spirit Reflection. It's titled, simply and appropriately, "I Am Love."
People who know me realize that I could never write such a beautiful song. The truth is, I didn't write the song. He did. I merely received it. There may be people that get up very early in the morning to write music, but I'm not one of them. I'm typically sound asleep at that time of day.
After we recorded the song our producer Paul Avgerinos, a five-time Grammy nominated artist pulled us into the control room and said with a look on his face that I will never forget: "That's a Smash Hit record!!!" Christine and I had no idea what Paul was talking about. "A Smash Hit Record?" "Really?" It was the first time Christine and I had recorded with Paul so we really didn't know what to say other than, "Thank you for the wonderful complement. The song was a gift from Jesus!" (Note: Christine and I are planning to re-record the song using a slightly expanded arrangement on the next Sweetbird record. Incidentally, for those readers who are interested in the genesis of songs, the title track on "Shine" is about the experience I had on December 7, 2002; interestingly, the music for the song 'Shine' is in the same guitar tuning and key as "I Am Love." You see, it all fits together nicely when He does it!)
It's been almost five years since I received the Holy Spirit. Over the period, I've been in the intense process of being reduced to love. My life has been turned inside out. Formerly a man of body and soul and full of himself, I am becoming a spiritual man. To be sure, there is still a good deal of the old Steve Waite that needs to go to the Cross and die. I trust that God will give me the strength to do what must be done. I believe that over time my walk down the narrow path will reveal more and more of His Spiritual fruit (Galatians 5:22-23). The more of Him, the less of me. He must increase, but I must decrease (John 3:30). My heart beats with His heart.
This is my testimony. This is the story of how I was regenerated. I am a new creation. I'm still learning how to walk in love. It's very difficult. It's hard work. I go to the Cross daily. Sometimes the pain is intense. God is very demanding, but He is kind, gentle and patient. Walking in love goes against my DNA. Fortunately, I was raised by loving parents so I understand the beauty of love.
Like many people, I used to do everything myself. Equipped with the Holy Spirit, now I allow the Lord to work through me. My heart is aligned with His heart. The process of being reduced to love requires great patience because God's timescale is vastly different from ours. I know that He will do the right thing in His time. And when He does, it will be blessed.
May God give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him.
Agape,
Steve
On December 7, 2002 at 3:45 a.m, on a cold and crisp early winter morning in Fairfield, Connecticut, I was awoken by a strange force. Not really knowing what was going on, I got out of bed and walked downstairs. As I sat quietly on the couch wiping the sleep from my eyes, I felt a glow. Heat wrapped around me. It was a strange sensation - something I had never felt before.
Sitting on the couch, I began looking at some pages I had printed out from the Internet the evening before. Interestingly, the papers I had printed contained Scripture from the Bible. Before I went to bed, I had done a Google search on the word "Love" and 1 Corinthians 13 came up. I didn't own a Bible at the time so I printed out the Scripture.
My lifelong dream was to find true love. My quest to find true love intensified after my 69 year old dad - one of the most loving people I knew - passed away on June 30, 2001 from a three month battle with cancer. In what seemed like a blink of any eye, he was gone. A whole serious of incredibly painful and devastating events unfolded after his death. Light turned to darkness. Despite my best attempts, I couldn't escape the darkness. It was everywhere. I was drowning in the darkness. In desperation, I began crying out for true love.
In the months following my dad's funeral, I would sit quietly on the train, in my office, alone at home, crying out for love. I sent out emails to friends with hidden messages: "Can you please tell me what true love is?" I was indiscriminately crying out for love. I sat in my office and watched the September 11 terrorist attacks. Watching those huge twin towers crumble like sand castles on the beach was surreal. The darker my life got, the more intensely I pursued my dream. Little did I know on the morning of December 7, 2002 that my quest to find true love was about to end.
Sitting pensively in the early morning winter light with this strange, luminous glow surrounding me, I began reading 1 Corinthians 13. I read each line slowly. 'Love is patient. Love is kind...' As I continued reading, tears began to trickle down my cheeks. The more I kept reading, the heavier the tears flowed. After a few minutes, I was sobbing like a baby. I couldn't control my tears. I tried to stop crying. For a moment, I caught my breath and I heard a gentle voice say:
"I Am Love"
Who was that? What was that? Who is love? I was dazed. Somebody was speaking to me in a voice I had never heard before. It was so gentle.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13:13)
I read it again.
But the greatest of these is love.
I was stunned. In an instant, I understood a profound truth. I was in pursuit of God and I didn't even realize it. God was speaking directly to my battered and broken heart.
Now the mystery of my story is that I wasn't searching for God. I wasn't "on a mission for God." I didn't have a religious bone in my body (still don't!). I didn't ask to receive the Holy Spirit. I wasn't searching for Jesus Christ. I didn't request a private meeting with God at 3:45 a.m.
The truth is the only thing I asked for was for somebody - anybody! - to reveal true love to me. My desperation was the result of being beaten up and battered over a series of events related to my dad's death. My heart had been completely crushed. The people I had trusted with my heart put a dagger in it and threw it away in a trash can. I was broken - completely broken.
He came to me. He revealed Himself to me. After months searching desperately for true love, the Lord spoke to me through 1 Corinthians 13 in the early morning hours and said:
I Am Love.
My search for true love was over. I had found true love. God is love. God spoke directly to my heart.
Lest you think I have completely lost my mind and made this story up, I have proof of my encounter with the Holy Spirit. What's the proof, you ask? The proof is a song He gave me - an incredibly beautiful song. Christine and I recorded the song He gave me on the first Sweetbird record, Free Spirit Reflection. It's titled, simply and appropriately, "I Am Love."
People who know me realize that I could never write such a beautiful song. The truth is, I didn't write the song. He did. I merely received it. There may be people that get up very early in the morning to write music, but I'm not one of them. I'm typically sound asleep at that time of day.
After we recorded the song our producer Paul Avgerinos, a five-time Grammy nominated artist pulled us into the control room and said with a look on his face that I will never forget: "That's a Smash Hit record!!!" Christine and I had no idea what Paul was talking about. "A Smash Hit Record?" "Really?" It was the first time Christine and I had recorded with Paul so we really didn't know what to say other than, "Thank you for the wonderful complement. The song was a gift from Jesus!" (Note: Christine and I are planning to re-record the song using a slightly expanded arrangement on the next Sweetbird record. Incidentally, for those readers who are interested in the genesis of songs, the title track on "Shine" is about the experience I had on December 7, 2002; interestingly, the music for the song 'Shine' is in the same guitar tuning and key as "I Am Love." You see, it all fits together nicely when He does it!)
It's been almost five years since I received the Holy Spirit. Over the period, I've been in the intense process of being reduced to love. My life has been turned inside out. Formerly a man of body and soul and full of himself, I am becoming a spiritual man. To be sure, there is still a good deal of the old Steve Waite that needs to go to the Cross and die. I trust that God will give me the strength to do what must be done. I believe that over time my walk down the narrow path will reveal more and more of His Spiritual fruit (Galatians 5:22-23). The more of Him, the less of me. He must increase, but I must decrease (John 3:30). My heart beats with His heart.
This is my testimony. This is the story of how I was regenerated. I am a new creation. I'm still learning how to walk in love. It's very difficult. It's hard work. I go to the Cross daily. Sometimes the pain is intense. God is very demanding, but He is kind, gentle and patient. Walking in love goes against my DNA. Fortunately, I was raised by loving parents so I understand the beauty of love.
Like many people, I used to do everything myself. Equipped with the Holy Spirit, now I allow the Lord to work through me. My heart is aligned with His heart. The process of being reduced to love requires great patience because God's timescale is vastly different from ours. I know that He will do the right thing in His time. And when He does, it will be blessed.
May God give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him.
Agape,
Steve
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